Express Train to Trouble Read online

  Contents

  Cast of Characters

  What’s in Miss Mallard’s Bag?

  Chapter 1: A Train Trickster

  Chapter 2: Muffled Voices

  Chapter 3: Midnight Meeting

  Chapter 4: Disappearing Act

  Chapter 5: Swindler Snagged

  Word List

  Questions

  Acknowledgments

  For Piet and Margie,

  and now for Emma and Aidan

  Cast of Characters

  Miss Mallard: World-famous ducktective

  Sir Reginald Baldpate: Train passenger on the Valley of the Kings tour

  Lady Teal: Train passenger on the Valley of the Kings tour

  George Ruddy Duck: Practical joker on the Valley of the Kings tour

  Professor Bufflehead: Archaeologist who found the ancient Tut-n-Quacken mummy case

  porter: Train employee who assists passengers

  conductor: Train employee who is in charge of the train and who sells tickets and collects fares

  What’s in Miss Mallard’s Bag?

  Miss Mallard has many detective tools she brings with her on her adventures around the world.

  In her knitting bag she usually has:

  • Newspaper clippings

  • Knitting needles and yarn

  • A magnifying glass

  • A flashlight

  • A mirror

  • A travel guide

  • Chocolates for her nephew

  1

  A Train Trickster

  At breakfast on the luxurious Nile Express, chaos broke out in the dining car. The world-famous ducktective, Miss Mallard, could not believe her eyes.

  Vinegar in Sir Reginald Baldpate’s tea caused him to spit it out and explode in a coughing fit.

  A trick glass spilled orange juice all over Lady Teal’s dress, which had diamond buttons.

  “George Ruddy Duck again!” sighed Miss Mallard.

  George Ruddy Duck had been bothering everyone on the Valley of the Kings tour with his practical jokes. Sir Reginald Baldpate and Lady Teal had been especially annoyed by his pranks.

  Miss Mallard studied Ruddy Duck as he came down the aisle laughing loudly. Suddenly he stopped at a new passenger’s table.

  Without warning, Ruddy Duck slapped the passenger on the back and sent his eyeglass flying.

  “Hi, pal!” Ruddy Duck shouted. “Long time no see!”

  “I am not your pal,” said the new passenger. “And I don’t even know you. I am Professor Bufflehead.”

  Ruddy Duck gave the professor another slap on the back. The sudden blow made the professor choke on a piece of toast.

  With that, Ruddy Duck left the dining car.

  Poor Professor Bufflehead was still coughing and spluttering. Miss Mallard grabbed her knitting bag, which contained detective equipment. She went to help the professor.

  Tossing the bag on an empty chair at his table, she reached for a glass of water.

  “Drink this,” she said as she held the glass to the professor’s beak.

  The professor took a drink and stopped coughing.

  “Oh my, that dreadful Mr. Ruddy Duck,” said Miss Mallard. “He has nearly ruined this trip for everyone. Are you feeling better, Professor?”

  The professor nodded.

  Miss Mallard sat down across from him and said, “I’ve been most anxious to talk to you, Professor. I’m Margery Mallard. I joined the tour three days ago for a holiday. I saw you come aboard last night with your recent discovery—the ancient Tut-n-Quacken mummy case. All that gold!”

  She added, “How very thrilling!”

  “Quite,” said the professor.

  “I hope you keep your compartment door locked. The treasure must be very valuable,” said Miss Mallard.

  “Quite,” said the professor.

  “I’ve read everything about you,” said Miss Mallard. “Your work is most exciting.”

  “Quite,” said the professor.

  “Some of it must be dangerous,” Miss Mallard went on.

  “Quite,” said the professor.

  “I read in the newspapers last year that you were injured during an important mission in East Africa,” said Miss Mallard. “May I ask what happened?”

  The professor got up from his chair and said abruptly, “Tigers chased me.”

  “Indeed!” said Miss Mallard.

  “Excuse me,” said the professor as he left the table.

  “Oh, Professor,” Miss Mallard called after him, “you forgot your cane.”

  The professor returned to the table.

  “Quite,” he said.

  Then he hobbled out of the dining car.

  2

  Muffled Voices

  That afternoon the train made a one-hour mail stop while cargo was unloaded.

  A few of the passengers decided to go for a short camel ride to the pyramids.

  The adventurers were Miss Mallard, Lady Teal, Sir Reginald, and—to the dismay of the others—George Ruddy Duck.

  And when they climbed up on the camels, trouble started. Ruddy Duck offered Lady Teal a lemon drop as a peace offering. When she reached into the package, her wing was pinched by a tiny trap.

  At the same time, Sir Reginald sat on a trick pillow called a whoopee cushion, which let out a noisy FRAMP!

  George Ruddy Duck laughed.

  “You’ll pay for this, Ruddy Duck!” shouted Sir Reginald.

  The sun beat down as they rode to the pyramids, making them very thirsty. Sir Reginald and Lady Teal began to drink from their canteens. When they tasted the water, they spat it out.

  “Someone put salt in my water!” cried Lady Teal.

  “Mine too!” hollered Sir Reginald.

  The two of them turned and glared at George Ruddy Duck. He smirked back at them.

  On the way back to the train, Miss Mallard closely watched every move the others made. Luckily, nothing happened.

  At dinner Miss Mallard kept her eyes open, but still nothing happened. When she finished, she retired to her compartment, for it had been an exhausting day.

  At ten o’clock she was awakened by a knock on the door of the next compartment, which was Ruddy Duck’s. Miss Mallard listened and heard some muffled shouting. Boom! A door slammed! Then all was quiet.

  At eleven o’clock Miss Mallard was awakened again by a knock on Ruddy Duck’s compartment door. There was more muffled shouting. Boom! Again the door slammed and then all was quiet.

  At midnight Miss Mallard was awakened by still another knock on Ruddy Duck’s compartment door. But this time there was no shouting—only the sound of a muffled thud. Then all was quiet until morning.

  3

  Midnight Meeting

  At dawn the porter came to rap on Ruddy Duck’s door for a wake-up call. The door was open, and he looked inside. The compartment was a mess! Ruddy Duck was nowhere to be seen.

  The porter was sure something was wrong. He ran to get the conductor, and together they went to Miss Mallard’s compartment.

  “You are an expert in these matters,” said the conductor.

  “Please! Please find Ruddy Duck and save the reputation of the train. Nothing like this has ever happened before.”

  “I’ll do the best I can,” said Miss Mallard. “I hope Mr. Ruddy Duck is not a dead duck.”

  She quickly got dressed.

  Grabbing her knitting bag, she went to George Ruddy Duck’s compartment.

  She took a large magnifying glass from her bag and searched his messy compartment. She found a necktie and a diamond button.

  “Ruddy Duck’s tie is not striped, and his jacket buttons are made of brass,” she said to herself. “Hmmm.”

  Then
she found Ruddy Duck’s date book. A page was torn out. She could see a faint impression of writing that had come through onto the page below.

  She held the book up to the light and read:

  MEET THE FAKER AT MIDNIGHT.

  Miss Mallard rang the porter. She wrote down a list of names on a piece of paper and folded it. When the porter came, she handed him the folded paper.

  “Let no one see this,” she said to the porter. “Summon everyone on the list. Have them meet me in the observation car in a half hour.”

  The porter left, and Miss Mallard went to her compartment.

  She dug through the clipping file she kept in her knitting bag. When she found the news clipping she wanted, she read it carefully.

  “Mmm, huh! I thought so!” Miss Mallard said to herself.

  She closed her knitting bag again and went to the observation car. Lady Teal, Sir Reginald Baldpate, Professor Bufflehead, the porter, and the conductor were all waiting for her.

  4

  Disappearing Act

  “What is this about?” asked Sir Reginald. “Why are we here?”

  Miss Mallard told them about the mysterious disappearance of George Ruddy Duck.

  “It must have happened at midnight,” she said. “I heard sounds coming from his compartment until that time.”

  Lady Teal spoke up. “What does any of this have to do with us?”

  “Everything!” answered Miss Mallard. “Each of you had a reason for wanting George Ruddy Duck out of the way.”

  She turned to Sir Reginald Baldpate.

  “Where were you last night between the hours of ten and midnight?” she asked.

  “In my compartment sleeping,” answered Sir Reginald.

  “Then how do you account for the fact that one of your neckties was found in Ruddy Duck’s compartment?” asked Miss Mallard.

  Sir Reginald blushed.

  Holding a shiny button, Miss Mallard turned to Lady Teal.

  “And where were you, Lady Teal?” she asked.

  “I was also in my compartment,” answered Lady Teal, who then burst into tears.

  The porter started to say something. Miss Mallard held up her wing to stop him.

  “Then how, Lady Teal,” asked Miss Mallard, “did one of your diamond buttons arrive in Ruddy Duck’s compartment?”

  “Leave Lady Teal alone!” shouted Sir Reginald. “All right, we were both in Ruddy Duck’s compartment last night. I was there at ten o’clock to ask him to stop annoying me.”

  He continued, “Lady Teal was there at eleven o’clock asking the same thing. Then we met in the club car for cocoa to soothe our frazzled nerves. We were there until twelve-thirty. I know because I looked at my watch.”

  “That’s right!” said the porter. “I was there. I served them.”

  “Thank you,” said Miss Mallard. “That gives me the proof I need.”

  Very quickly she turned to the professor and pulled at his mustache.

  “Owww!” said the professor as his mustache came off.

  “Just as I thought,” cried Miss Mallard. “A fake mustache! And now we see, instead of the famous Professor Bufflehead, an impostor—the notorious Arnie the Swindler.”

  5

  Swindler Snagged

  “How did you know?” asked Arnie the Swindler.

  Miss Mallard answered, “It was when you said that tigers chased you in East Africa. No real explorer would make a mistake like that. Tigers live in Asia—not Africa.”

  Miss Mallard went on. “Then when you left the table without your cane, I was convinced, especially after I checked my clipping file. It is well known that Professor Bufflehead cannot even stand without his cane.”

  “So?” sneered Arnie the Swindler.

  “So Ruddy Duck must have known you were a fake,” answered Miss Mallard. “He seemed to know you from somewhere else. That’s why you had to get rid of him—to keep your identity a secret. What did you do with him, you rascal?”

  “You’ve got me!” said Arnie. “I met that pest a long time ago. He hasn’t changed!”

  He continued on. “I went to see him at midnight last night. I offered him money to keep quiet, but he wouldn’t take it. Boy, is he foolish! I knocked him out and then hid him in the Tut-n-Quacken mummy case in my compartment.”

  “And the real professor?” asked Miss Mallard.

  “He’s tied to a palm tree back at the digging site,” answered Arnie. “I paid off the workers and stole the mummy case.”

  “Quick!” said Miss Mallard to the conductor. “Lock up this crook in the baggage car until the police can come for him. Then call for a search party to rescue Professor Bufflehead.”

  She turned to the porter.

  “Listen very carefully. Go to the crook’s compartment,” she said, “and unlock the door with your passkey. Let George Ruddy Duck out of the mummy case. Now!”

  The porter ran ahead of the conductor and Arnie the Swindler. He soon returned with George Ruddy Duck, who was all wrapped up like a mummy.

  “How can I ever thank you for saving me, Miss Mallard?” asked Ruddy Duck. “I’m so sorry now for all the jokes I played on everyone. I’ll never do it again.”

  “So you’ve learned a good lesson, have you?” asked Miss Mallard.

  “Yes,” said Ruddy Duck. “And I mean it when I say I am sorry.”

  “Oh, that’s perfectly all right, Ruddy Duck,” said Sir Reginald as he placed a pillow on a chair. “Come and sit down over here.”

  FRAMP! went the pillow as Ruddy Duck sat down.

  Everyone roared with laughter! It was Ruddy Duck’s own whoopee cushion.

  Word List

  abruptly (uh·BRUHPT·ly): Suddenly; unexpectedly

  anxious (ANK·shus): Nervous, worried something bad will happen

  canteens (kan·TEENS): Small containers used for carrying water or other liquids

  cargo (KAR·go): Goods that are carried by train, plane, or another vehicle

  chaos (KAY·os): Confusion; disorder

  frazzled (FRA·zuld): Tired out; worn out

  hobbled (HA·buld): Limped or walked with trouble

  impostor (im·POS·tur): A faker; a person who pretends to be another person

  impression (im·PRE·shun): An image left on a surface by applying pressure

  muffled (MUF·fuld): Dulled or quieted

  notorious (no·TOR·ee·us): Known for doing something bad

  passkey (PASS·kee): Key to a door of a private, restricted room

  reputation (rep·u·TAH·shun): Opinion people have about someone

  smirked (SMERKD): Smiled in a superior, puffed-up way

  sneered (SNEERD): Smiled in a mean way

  spluttering (SPLUT·ter·ing): Speaking quickly in anger or making a series of short, loud noises like the sounds of someone who is struggling to breathe

  summon (SOME·un): To call or order someone to come to a place

  Questions

  1. Did you know that tigers don’t live in East Africa? What animals do?

  2. What did Miss Mallard take out of her bag to search Ruddy Duck’s room? What two clues did she find?

  3. If you could take a long trip on a train, where would you go?

  4. Why were Ruddy Duck’s pranks so annoying to everyone on the train?

  Acknowledgments

  My deepest thanks and appreciation go to Jon Anderson, president and publisher of Simon & Schuster Children’s Books, and his talented team: Karen Nagel, editor; Karin Paprocki, art director; Tiara Iandiorio, designer; Katherine Devendorf, managing editor; Bernadette Flinn, production manager; Tricia Lin, assistant editor; and Richard Ackoon, executive coordinator; for launching these incredible editions of my Miss Mallard Mystery books for today’s young readers.

  About the Author

  ROBERT QUACKENBUSH is the author and illustrator of more than two hundred books for young readers. He has been awarded honors and prizes for his work, including a gold medal from the Holland Society of New York for distinction
in art and literature. His art is in the permanent collections of the Whitney Museum of American Art and the Smithsonian Institution. It is also on display in the gallery/studio he owns and runs in New York City. The place is fairly quacking with activity, for, in addition to creating books and paintings there, Mr. Quackenbush teaches writing and illustrating to children and adults.

  Mr. Quackenbush, who is a native of Arizona, now lives in New York City with his wife, Margery. Their son, Piet (rhymes with “neat”), was the inspiration for many of the author’s books when he was growing up. Now Aidan and Emma, the children of Piet and his wife, Teresa, are the inspirations.

  ALADDIN QUIX

  SIMON & SCHUSTER, NEW YORK

  Visit us at simonandschuster.com/kids

  Authors.SimonandSchuster.com/Robert-Quackenbush

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